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Today, the Jester’s on the Job. He’s Lame.
In my heart, I know I Am funny. Not! Hahahaha. At least, not as funny as my husband who of course outshines me in very few things but at least he is funny. (I, on the other hand, beat him hand’s down in the arrogance department.)
If someone asked me to be funny, I’d go into paralysis. I’d freeze. Maybe the next thing that came sputtering from my mouth would be so garbled, it would be funny. But not because I was consciously in control. If someone asked me to tell a joke, I’d reach humbly into my bare-bones memory file of Laughs. I’d sweat and squirm cause in it there are like-two lame jokes that are only funny because my family has told them ad nauseum, over and over. I’d also find two or three lame dirty jokes that even MY memory file can’t seem to wipe clean! And there MIGHT be, on a good memory bank day…a couple “So-and-so walked into a bar” jokes. That’s on a SUPREMO numero uno good day.
For the record, here’s the most famous of the lame family jokes, sanitized by the politically correct Police. In light of the recent Arizona shooting tragedy, I do want to apologize for it’s reference to a woman’s shooting. Work with me here. It’s not a joke that glorifies killing or any such thing. It’s very innocent.
Two clueless personages were sitting on a park bench, Tweedle Dee and Tweele Dum. Dee is reading a paper and asks Dum, “What is a woman’s ‘Yet.‘”
Dum says, “What do you mean, ‘What is a woman’s Yet’?”
Dee says, “It says here in the paper, ‘The bullet is in her yet.'”
“Oh,” says Dum, “That means, the bullet is in her now.”
“Well,” says Dee, “What’s a woman’s Now?”
“Oh…” says Dum, with a bit of impatience, “You know the old song, I wonder who’s kissing her NOW?”
Now, after you have had one polite, infinitesimal chuckle, imagine a six year old hearing this joke. Cause that’s when I may have heard it first, from my dear, delightful father. Imagine then, that every time you hear this same joke for the next fifty years, you wonder about that bullet. You wonder where–in the last analysis–does Dum think the bullet is? Does he think the bullet is in the woman’s MOUTH?
After you have puzzled over this Zen koan for a moment……I’ll move on.
nahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnah….(to quote Chevy Chase in Ground Hog Day.)
I suppose the flip side of thinking of myself as NOT FUNNY, is the life-saving disposition I have for laughing. I’m a good laugher; it comes easily; sometimes sounds like a horse’s whinny. So, actually, Mr. Richie and I make a good team.
Then there’s the “Funny Things that Happened to Me” file. My memory bank has only one constantly accessible file in this category though I could swear there have been more….!
While sitting in the back of a parked Ford Econoline van which was our home at the time, I was eating dinner with Mr. Richie who says: Do you want me to put your salad dressing on your salad? And I say, no I will put it on myself. He hands me the bottle. Thinking the phrase “I’ll put it on myself,” is amusing, I decide, “Hey, why not act out that expression, and put the dressing ‘on myself.'” Of course, I thought the lid was on tight…but it wasn’t. In the next moment-Blop, Blop, Blop!-I was dowsing myself with Italian salad dressing!!! All over myself. HAHAHA
It sure is fun to laugh with yourself, isn’t it?
I hope you get some good laughs today. It is said that children laugh about 400 times a day while adults, on a good day, might hit 15. Ouch!
Maya Angelou said, “I am serious, so I laugh a lot. You need to laugh. You don’t laugh enough. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t laugh.” I can relate so well to this quote. I am an extremely serious person and sometimes feel as if I am carrying the world upon my shoulders.
Last night, however, I had a hoot of a time with a good friend, heating myself to the bone and warming my heart while laughing in her hot tub. Wado dear friend!
To paraphrase Jim Thorpe when he said “Thanks King,” when he accepted his Olmpypic Gold medal from the King of Sweden—- I say, “Thanks Princess”….to my tubbing friend.
And I will leave you with some sage advice from Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha: “Hear the children laugh, so pure–so open. Let your child be free!”
Laugh loud, Laugh often,